100 Things America can't do in a meeting
1. Do not bring Hamburgers into meetings.
2. Even if it's funny to make England stare at your chewed food when you talk with your mouth full.
3. Even if it's funny to make him want to puke.
4. It is frowned on. By everyone.
5. Do not stand up in the middle of the meeting and claim it's over because you are the Hero.
6. Because it makes England screech like a wet cat.
7. And makes everyone else stare at you like a idiot.
8. And because Russia smiles like a creepy son of a bitch.
9. Do not come dressed as a cowboy.
10. It makes England stutter like a girl.
11. It makes France want to jump you.
12. It also makes Hungary pop up with a camera if I hug England.
13. It's creepy. And I do not squeak like a little girl!
14. Suggesting that England dress up as well, will make France jump into the conversation.
15. Calling England cute when he dresses up like a angel is bad.
16. When he dresses up as a waiter, do not call him Alfred. (From Batman.)
17. It pisses him off.
18. I'm the Hero!
19. Telling everyone that Desperate Housewives is the best show on television, is not a good idea.
20. Even if it's true.
21. Telling England that his scones are worse than cow crap is bad.
22. Because he will shove it down your throat.
23. Even though everyone agrees it is true.
24. Do not tell England that if he learned how to cook, the world will implode.
25. It makes him even more pissed off.
26. Do not bring brightly colored cakes to the meetings.
27. It makes Japan faint.
28. Do not yell that everyone should imitate America.
29. 'Because I'm a Hero!' is not an acceptable answer.
30. Complaining about cold in the presence of Russia, will get you chewed out.
31. In a creepy smiling 'you want cold biatch?' way.
32. Bribing Greece to let his cats hang over England, to call him a 'old cat lady' will get you whacked over the head.
33. Smirking to England as you mention tax cuts are not a good idea.
34. Taking a map and drawing on it during a world meeting isn't a good idea.
35. Even though Superman does kick England's butt.
36. Doodling on documents is a bad idea.
37. Even though Bugs bunny is awesome.
38. Purposely letting Cuba attack Canada is not condoned.
39. Even though it gets you off scotch free.
40. Do not suggest England wax his eyebrows.
41. He gets mad.
42. Do not get mad when everyone thinks football is soccer.
43. Cause they are obviously wrong.
44. Cause football is awesome.
45. Do not try to stick bunny ears on every single 'professional' photo op.
46. Even if you tell them that it's habit.
47. Or that it makes them look so much more Awesome.
48. Purposely making trouble for England is a no.
49. Even though it's fun to save him.
50. And call him a damsel in distress.
51. It makes Hungary get a camera out from nowhere.
52. Shouting 'You commie!' at Russia is not allowed.
53. Even though we all know it's true.
54. Shouting that you're saving the people, is not a valid excuse.
55. Having a remote control car with a evil smiley face chase Italy, isn't a good idea.
56. It makes Germany glare.
57. It makes Prussia laugh.
58. Do not make the car chase both Italians.
59. It makes Prussia laugh harder.
60. It makes Spain upset.
61. Posting 'I'm America's' Sticky notes on everyone's back, isn't a good idea.
62. Even if they are in denial.
63. Trying to have a bald eagle in the room is bad.
64. Training it to attack England is even worse.
65. Telling it to attack England's fairy friends is a even more worse Idea.
66. Launching random tabletop projectiles at people during meetings will get you glared at.
67. A lot.
68. Telling Italy that there are pasta and tomatoes in Germany's pants, is not a good idea.
69. It's really funny.
70. I'm am not allowed to talk in a Southern Accent.
71. It makes England act funny.
72. It makes everyone stare at me like I'm speaking their non-hero languages.
73. Paper airplanes CAN poke someone's eye out.
74. Or make Italy scream like a little girl when he gets a paper cut.
75. Trying to plan everyone's murder, then make it into a reality show, with you as the hero, in a meeting, is also a bad idea.
76. Cause I usually scribble it on my notes, and read it aloud.
77. It makes Italy faint.
78. It also makes Arthur glare when I say that he gets stuck in a mental institution after the flames eat up all his fairies.
79. Or that he died of his own food.
80. Or France jumped him and they were never seen again.
81. Telling Arthur that having a 'rubber' isn't going to do him any good if he has no one to use it with.
82. Do not laugh when France interjects that he will join in.
83. It makes England want to kill us both.
84. Puppy dog eyes work on England.
85. Unless you tried to wax his eye brows while he was asleep and then draw a unibrow on him.
86. It pisses him off a lot.
87. Trying to stick any type of sticker, 'kittens', 'American Flags', 'You suck you damn commie' on Russia's scarf, gets you chased around with a metal pipe.
88. Russia talks to said pipe like a freaking dog.
89. Both which are scary.
90. Playing with a Bbgun in the middle of a meeting is a bad thing.
91. Especially when you try to sniper Ivan when he's talking.
92. Because, it will get a pipe thrown at you.
93. And, threats that all the faucets in America will choke their owners.
94. Clinging to England doesn't make him go away.
95. It actually attracts Hungary.
96. I cannot bring lollipops into meetings.
97. I am not allowed to eat lollipops at all.
98. It makes England, France, Russia, Germany, Prussia, Hungary (With a creepy smile and camera), Japan (with a same smile, but a creepy laugh.) stare at you.
99. Do not talk to England at all, when you have a lollipop in your mouth. It makes him stutter and blush.
100. Also, it makes me laugh and almost choke on said lollipop.
101. And, I'M THE HERO!
102. Ps, Russia sucks.
Subject: 100 Things America Cannot do at Meetings 
Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:56 pm
