104 things England cannot do. [because I couldnt settle with 100]

100 THINGS ENGLAND CANNOT DO

1. I am the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
2. I am not Iggybrows, Iggy, Iggly Wiggly, or any other stupid nickname you people give me.
3. My eyebrows are not that big. They are perfectly normal.
4. Do not fall asleep in America’s house.
5. He might try to wax my eyebrows.
6. I still don’t see what’s wrong with them.
7. Do not let Russia pet my eyebrows.
8. It’s just weird.
9. And creepy.
10. Do not fall asleep in France’s house.
11. Just don’t.
12. You never know what will happen.
13. In fact, stay away from France at all times.
14. He can and will do stuff to me
15. Stuff I don’t want to talk about.
16. And probably put a collar on me.
17. I hate that.
18. I am NOT his pet.
19. I CAN COOK.
20. REALLY.
21. You people just have no taste in good food.
22. If I show or tell people about my friends they will call me crazy
23. So it’s a good idea not to show people them.
24. Playing tag with Mrs. Fairy in the hall way is not a good idea.
25. France will find me and call me crazy.
26. I hate him.
27. I always will hate him.
28. Nothing about him is good.
29. Keep France away from Sealand.
30. Sealand does not need that lecherous pedo around.
31. Sealand will never become a nation.
32. Ever.
33. If he does, the world will surely end.
34. I am a gentleman.
35. Nothing you say or do will change that.
36. Drinking will solve anything.
37. Just don’t drink around France.
38. He tends to take advantage of that.
39. That git.
40. Try and take showers when France is not around
41. Other wise he will most likely barge in no matter what you say.
42. Avoid Russia at all costs.
43. If he tries anything, throw America at him.
44. Same goes for France.
45. Don’t throw biscuits at France.
46. He will eat them instead of giving them back.
47. I like biscuits.
48. And tea.
49. America is NOT a hero.
50. He has an over active imagination.
51. I mean, really.
52. He believes in aliens.
53. Aliens are NOT real.
54. America is crazy.
55. Never ask France for advice.
56. For anything.
57. It will always turn out sexual.
58. France can flirt with a desk lamp and still come off as sexy.
59. WAIT.
60. WHAT.
61. Let’s pretend I never said that, shall we?
62. Because everyone knows I hate France.
63. Don’t ask Russia for advice, either.
64. Because if you say its bad advice, you will be beaten into a bloody mess.
65. Don’t call Russia a Dirty Commie. He takes offense and may beat me.
66. France is a whore.
67. He will always be one.
68. I will never be one.
69. Because I am a gentleman.
70. And such vulgar things like that are frowned upon.
71. Pirates are better than ninjas.
72. I know that because I was once a pirate.
73. Pirates are also better than cowboys.
74. Meaning I am better than America.
75. Just because I’m not a pirate anymore doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass.
76. In fact, I just might curse you instead.
77. Or make Uni stab you.
78. FLYING MINT BUNNY IS REAL.
79. Seriously.
80. He came to see me after a meeting once.
81. America saw me and called me crazy.
82. Stupid git doesn’t know anything.
83. Did I mention I hate France?
84. People say that I like him all the time.
85. This is a lie.
86. He cannot fight.
87. But he is really good in be---…
88. … Pffft.
89. I don’t know what I was about to say.
90. Don’t ask me because I won’t tell you.
91. It’s none of your business.
92. When France insults my cooking, shove some down his throught.
93. Then he wont argue again.
94. Probably.
95. I need to be more careful when cursing someone.
96. I don’t want Russia coming out of the floor again.
97. Because that’s just scary.
98. I am NOT tsundere.
99. I’m just not.
100. Pfft, why you people think that I don’t know.
101. I mean, just because I reject liking someone doesn’t mean I’m tsundere.
102. Seriously. I am not tsundere for France, either.
103. I want Mrs. Fairy to attack France. Because I hate him.
104. You wanker.