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Sammy
Posts : 398 Join date : 2010-08-03
| Subject: Sat Oct 02, 2010 10:39 am | |
| - Quote :
- Once upon a time, there lived a pretty princess named Gilbert.
Gilbert loved interior design and catering, but his brother didn't approve. "THE FUCK YOU DOIN', BITCH!?" Ludwig would say. "I DON'T WANT NO QUEER IN MY FAMILY!!" "I'LL SHOW YOU! I'LL SHOW YOU AAAALLLLLLL!!!" That night, Gilbert snuck out. To him, it was adventure time. He went and stayed in a run down motel to get ready for his gay quest. Sadly, though, the walls were very thin and Gilby could hear everything going on on either side of him. On one side: "WHERE'S MY MONEY, DICK!?" "I TOLD YOU, I LOST IT, I'M SORRY!!" "THAT AIN'T GOOD. NOW I GOTTA KILL YOU!" "No, please, DON'T--" Bang! Bang! Bang! Gilbert came.
Morning arrived quickly. The sun was all, "SUP" And he was all, "NOTHIN' BITCH" Using his rocket shoes, the princess blasted himself to school and took classes for interior design and culinary. Poot. "Oops, I farted." he said. "S'okay." the teacher replied. Poot. "Oops, I farted." Poot. "Oops, I farted. Boom boom. "Oops, I shat myself." "Go to the nurse." SO THE MIGHTY PRINCESS GILBERT WENT TO THE NURSE AND SHAT ALL OVER THEM. He then quickly received his degrees. They wanted him the fuck out. "FUCK YEAH!!" His brother pouted as the princess pounded his refreshing ass. "IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR FACE! IN. YOUR. AAAAAAAAAAASSSSS!!!!" With that, he spilled his man milk all up in Luddy's ass. And they made retarded gay babies.
THE END. | |
| | | Sammy
Posts : 398 Join date : 2010-08-03
| Subject: Re: Sat Oct 02, 2010 10:40 am | |
| - Quote :
- Prussia liked acid. He liked it a lot.
He put the strips in his mouth and went to motherfucking heaven.
THE STREET BECAME THE PIZZA, THE SKY SPROUTED WINGS AND THE CLOUDS FORMED ITS FACE. ALL THE TREES ARE GIANT FUCKING PEOPLE AND HOUSES ARE COCKS. JUST COCKS FUCKING EVERYWHEEEERRREEE.
"HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAAAATTTTT!!??" Gilbert shouted, completely frantic as he stared at a sausage-creature.
"That is your brother. It's me, Ludwig." the wiener said.
"WELL FUCK, TALKING DICK, I HAD NO IFUCKINGDEARRRRRR." Gilby shouted at the thing.
Ludwig sighed and ran off, crying into a tissue he shat on earlier.
CONTINUING ON, one of the tree-people walked over to him and asked him for a dance. Prussia agreed quickly and was swept off his feet by a strong-kind tree-man.
The Tree-man pulled him close, a branch-hand placed gently on one hip and the other hand gripping his. Over and over he spun and dipped Gilbert, who laughed with joy.
The night, however, soon came to a close and the tree-man and Gilby were found, still slow dancing, not wanting the night to end.
"I love you." the tree-man confessed.
"I...I...." before Prussia could finish, bark-lips met his own and he was kissed deeply.
"OW OW FUCK!" he shouted.
"Wh-what is it?! Are you okay!?" the tree-man shouted.
"FUCKING SPLINTERS. GET OFF ME WHAT IS THIS FAGGOT-TREE GO GO GO!"
The tree-man, crying, nodded and walked away slowly into the sunset.
Immediately, Gilbert regretted it. He just met someone amazing. Around that man, he felt safe and happy. It was as if Gilby knew him for a very long time before this, but he just can't remember.
For years to come, Prussia thought about the mysterious man, dreaming of him, fantasizing about him. His chest often ached when he thought about him. He missed the man.
AND SO HE GOT PERMANENT ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.
BAWWWWWW THE END. | |
| | | Sammy
Posts : 398 Join date : 2010-08-03
| Subject: Re: Sat Oct 02, 2010 10:41 am | |
| - Quote :
AMERICAS LOVE POEM ---- You're my love, my shining star. I bet you don't realize how gorgeous you are. Soft blond hair and pale blue eyes, No matter what I do, you see through my disguise. FUCK I love your tight as hell ass. And I don't mean to be crass...
I love when you suck my cock. Your mouth is the perfect place to dock. BLAHBLAHBLAH I LOVE TO BANG YOU MATT FUCK I HATE THIS SAPPY SHIT | |
| | | Sammy
Posts : 398 Join date : 2010-08-03
| Subject: Re: Sat Oct 02, 2010 10:46 am | |
| - Spoiler:
- Quote :
- "DUDE. DUDE. DUDE. YOU'LL NEVER FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED."
"What? What happened? Whaaaat, eh?" "I just rode a GODDAMN MOOSE." "HOLY SHIT." "YEAH, I KNOW." Matthew stared, in shock and awe at a triumphant Gilbert standing naked in front of him. His eyebrow raised and his mind fell into the gutter. "Define ride..." he said suspiciously. Gilbert didn't seem to get it at first, then it dawned on him. "EWWWW!!!" Prussia shrieked. "THAT'S DIGUSTING!! Though, I did think about it. WHOA. Why did I just say that?" Matt fell to the ground, giggling so hard he wet himself a little. "Something smells like syrup. Did you pee again?" Gilby asked. "I-I-I'm sorry, it's...it's just so...so funny, e-eh!!" Soon, the other had joined this crazy laughter and they were both peeing themselves. "So gross! I can't have sex with you now! You're COVERED IN FUCKING PEE!!" "You were gonna have sex with me?" Matthew asked. Gilbert nodded. "Of course! We always have sex when we get high!" "We always have sex PERIOD." the Canadian corrected. "DAMN RIGHT WE DO!" Matt chuckled at Gilby and leaned forward to kiss him. "Mmmm....you taste good....did you....?" "Yup." The Prussian smirked. "I drank maple syrup." "Y-you know....you KNOW what that does to me Gilbert...." "Huh?" Suddenly, Matthew RIPPED OFF GILBERT'S SHIRT, WHICH SOMEHOW MANAGED TO BE THERE AGAIN, AND TWISTED HIS NIPPLES. "AAAAHHHH!!!" the other screamed. "OH GOD I NEED MORE OF THOSE SCREAMS, EH." Removing his pants quickly, the now manry Canadian bent Gilby over and DROVE INTO HIM WITH HIS HARD COCK. "AAAGGGHHH!!" Gilbert screamed some more and Matthew LOVED IT. He pounded hard into his lover, making him cry out from pain and pleasure (mostly pain). Matt grabbed a bottle of maple syrup he kept in his hair for such an occasion and poured it over Gilby. He then licked it off. The taste brought out the lumberjack in him when he was high. Though not in his usual state, Matthew was still a quick shot. He came a few moments later. Came buckets, actually. Which he could easily bottle and sell as maple syrup. It was probably only 3% semen, 127% maple syrup. Panting, Matt smiled nervously. "A-ah...I'm sorry, Gilbert. I didn't mean to, eh! It...I just...ummm...." Gilbert slowly got up and then turned to glare at the now meek Canadian. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!"
They lived happily ever after. THE END.
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